Part One
My brother Denny and I recently discussed the music we would like played at our funerals. Denny would like Kermit in New Orleans to play his song On the Day I die. His trumpet playing rivals Louis Armstrong ‘s (Satchmo’s). When Denny ended a ½ Marathon in New Orleans Kermit was there to greet the runners. Denny never forgot the experience.
On a more subtle side, I would like to play Barack Obama singing Amazing Grace from the memorial for the Sandy Hook killings.
I told Denny my favorite funeral was one my friend Sondra Kellogg put together for her husband Jack.
The Queen City Jazz Band played music throughout the event. When they ended with When the Saints Go Marching in, everyone left the funeral singing and dancing.
I want my funeral to have music and to be joyous, just like that.
I love music, all types of music.
Since I worked from home since 1980, my kids heard my music on all the time. It’s no surprise that they all seem to know all the words to the various Beattle’s music I listened to.
MY two oldest sons are mucisians. My son Sam’s son Jack just started a new band up at CSU in Fort Collins named “Snow Day”
I would love to share their music at my funeral. I would also love to share a song or two from my sons’ band HFT.
Also, if my son Jonny would play the piano for everyone that would be a great addition.
Part Two
What music would you like at your funeral? We can include that info in the next MSC.Recently my friends Carol MacDougall, Ann Stafford and I got together and Carol told me about a book she just read:
Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral Paperback – May 7, 2013 by Gayden Metcalfe (Author), Charlotte Hays (Author)
Folks in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down South, they don’t forget you when you’ve up and died–in fact, they visit you more often. But there are quintessential rules and rituals for kicking the bucket tastefully. Having a flawless funeral is one of them.
In this deliciously entertaining slice of Southern life (and death), inveterate hostess Gayden Metcalfe explains everything you need to know to host an authentic Southern funeral. Can you be properly buried without tomato aspic? Who prepares tastier funeral fare, the Episcopal ladies or the Methodist ladies? And what does one do when a family gets three sheets to the wind and eats the entire feast the night before a funeral?
Each chapter includes a delicious, tried-and-true Southern recipe, critical if you plan to die tastefully any time soon. Pickled Shrimp, Aunt Hebe’s Coconut Cake, and the ubiquitous Bing Cherry Salad with Coca-Cola are among the many dishes guaranteed to make the next funeral the most satisfying one yet.
Even if you’ve never been south of Rochester, this book will charm, it will entertain, and it will give you all the ingredients required for the perfect Southern send-off.
One particular dish that the southerners seem to enjoy at Funerals is Tomato Aspic. Here is a recipe. My friend Ann chimed in and said, Her mother left her all of her tomatoe aspic dishes when she died. Ann was not sure this was her favorite thing to inherit but what the heck? It was sweet of her mother to leave these dishes to her.
A refreshing tomato aspic recipe with the taste of vegetable Juice and crisp chopped celery and onion. Lovely served as a side to my Ham Salad for Two, or any other favorite salad. Makes a lovely colorful touch to a summer evening salad plate.
Pour vegetable juice mixture over dissolved gelatin; stir gently to blend. Refrigerate for at least an hour so the gelatine can set up.
Here are some reactions to the book:
Gayden’s book is beyond a cookbook—it brings to mind that culture that we lived and actually are still living in the South. A Yankee friend said she just “couldn’t relate” to the book. Poor thing. I guess it just takes a Southern lady of a “certain age” to fully appreciate the authenticity of Gayden Metcalfe’s descriptions of our funeral protocol!
Even when reading it all alone, I laughed right out loud on nearly every page at not only Gayden’s wit, but her ability to let us see the funny side (and caring side) of our funerals and the food solace we provide before and after. It captures those customs perfectly. And, just as she said, I keep the ingredients of a casserole in my pantry at all times, just in case of a neighbor’s sudden death, and my funeral suit hangs in the closet and my pearls at the top of my jewelry chest, at the ready.
I always sent my sons to church in suits and ties anyway, but I did this partly so they too would be ready for a funeral at the drop of a hat. More than once, we’d have to outfit a cousin because his mother didn’t understand this, bless her heart.
Gayden’s recipes are grand, really dressed up versions of our “funeral food.” No Cheese Wiz is included, thank goodness.
Even when reading it all alone, I laughed right out loud on nearly every page at not only Gayden’s wit, but her ability to let us see the funny side (and caring side) of our funerals and the food solace we provide before and after. It captures those customs perfectly. And, just as she said, I keep the ingredients of a casserole in my pantry at all times, just in case of a neighbor’s sudden death, and my funeral suit hangs in the closet and my pearls at the top of my jewelry chest, at the ready.
Even when reading it all alone, I laughed right out loud on nearly every page at not only Gayden’s wit, but her ability to let us see the funny side (and caring side) of our funerals and the food solace we provide before and after. It captures those customs perfectly. And, just as she said, I keep the ingredients of a casserole in my pantry at all times, just in case of a neighbor’s sudden death, and my funeral suit hangs in the closet and my pearls at the top of my jewelry chest, at the ready.
I always sent my sons to church in suits and ties anyway, but I did this partly so they too would be ready for a funeral at the drop of a hat. More than once, we’d have to outfit a cousin because his mother didn’t understand this, bless her heart.
Gayden’s recipes are grand, really dressed up versions of our “funeral food.” No Cheese Wiz is included, thank goodness.
I particulary laughed at this truth: After the cemetery part of the funeral, in the car on the way to the family home for the funeral meal, we can speak ill of the dead one quite vigorously. But once we get in the driveway of the bereaved, we straighten up and speak only of the great loss to the community his death has caused, even though he had been a rip-roaring scoundrel. And even in the privacy of our car, understand that each criticism of the dead one had been prefaced with “Bless his heart. . .”
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